In Another World
by AdventurousDreamer
Summary: Sena d'Arde was robbed of her life. Twice. Once when a loved member of her family passed away, but the second time... Lost in a world of magic and dragons, she becomes the Inquisitor and the fate of the world lies on her hands. Cullen & Trevelyan with a twist.
1. Prologue 1

**Hello everybody.**

 **This story is a what if. A thought exercise of something I have always wondered. What if, you were suddenly sucked in to the world of your favourite game or story? How would that work? What would you do...? This is a Trevelyan & Cullen romance with this odd twist. Reviews and comments will always be welcomed.  
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"I will not go to the circle!"

"Yes you will. You refuse to keep your powers hidden!"

"No! I will not. I am not your puppet to be ordered around and posed pretty for your allies and I am not a cow to be married away and procreate endlessly!"

"You are a shame to the family. I found you a suitor and you cursed him, the man almost died!"

"You have no right to force me into a life I do not want!"

"Our lineage is the purest in Ostwick! He was willing to look the other way on your magic."

"That man is a monster! He has already discarded two wives, he killed them. Or do you think they died by accident?"

"Those are the pure speculations, I have word from the high councilor in Starkhaven that he is very high regarded by their court and the Chantry!"

"Even if the man was a human paragon I would not want it. I am not a broodmare. Would you trap me in a life I do not want?"

"Your life is mine, I gave it to you and it is mine to steer towards wherever I believe fits me better. I do not have another child, so I have to fix you."

"Well, mother, maybe you should try again." - Sena aimed low. She knew her mother was left barren after having her. Both of them had almost died. "The man is monster. His last wife was found half burned and the marks of his abuse were still visible on her back and wrists."

Gaya's eyes revealed nothing. The woman's face was permanently frozen in an expression which could only be described as disdain.

"You should have died and saved me from the shame of having a mage daughter. You are evil. I feel it in my bones, the day will come when you'll slaughter us all."

Sena's eyes flashed fire. She felt her body charge and ready to exact her most inner desire. To enflame herself in front of her mother's precious zealot allies and confirm all the rumors. She was a mage and she wasn't the tame and devoted daughter her mother made her up to be. She wanted the world, bowing to her, never hiding her superiority.

"Even if I have to conquer the whole of Thedas and bring back the Imperium, I am better than this!"

"To the circle with you, vicious snake. That teacher of yours was my gravest mistake. He was supposed to have taught you to subdue and negate your magic. Years of tutoring, and what I get in return is a disgrace of a daughter who lacks any care for the Chantry and the family."

"You can say whatever you want, mother, my loyalties lie with me and no one else. Whoever you consider your blood relations, are nothing but social climbers trying to milk the last drop of influence of this family. To the fade with all your scheming and lies."

Sena stormed away, leaving Gaya Trevelyan standing in the middle of the corridor that linked the guest wing to the main building of their home.

"You will be delivered to the circle. It is decided!" - Gaya spewed to her daughter's back. - "the templars will arrive in a month."

Oooo-oooO

Sena d'Aarde closed her computer. It was late at night, another headache was coming fast and she still had a pile of work to do. With a heavy sigh, she got up and out of her home office and ambled down the hall towards her bedroom. Curtains shut, AC on, she let her body fall on the mattress.

Nightmares and dreams of a far away land always accompanied the headaches. In them she was in another world... always angry, confined. Her mother kept demanding things she did not want to do, didn't agree with. Her screams echoed loudly in her head. " _you will never cage me!"_

These dreams were more and more common. It felt like she was pulled out from reality and taken to medieval times, tormented by the same antagonizing mother who bit her like a snake every time she could. _Even in my dreams I'm not safe from her._..

Oooo-oooO

Sena shut herself in her bedroom. She had little time. She needed to be gone with enough time to lose the templars. Athelan was already waiting for her at the ruins. If all went well, she would be long gone before those retched jailors arrived.

In a small backpack she packed simple clothing and camping equipment. A sleeping bag rolled at the top, a pair of knives and a wand. All carefully hidden between her back and the bag. The piece of wood wasn't the best focus one could have but it was conspicuous enough to prevent peasants from yelling mage at their first sight of her.

Although she could almost see her destination. White walls and odd contraptions. She was ready to flee even if her plans fell apart. Wherever she went, anywhere was better than the cage of this life.

Oooo-oooO

Sena woke up a few hours later. The apartment was blessedly quiet. Her mother had gone out and it was just her and the soft music now coming from a stereo.

She walked up to a window. Looking out at the hard skyline and lush trees. She imagined a way to leave this life. It all began when her father passed away. Sena had a good life and a bright future ahead. She was about to change majors and finally find her own path in life.

Peter d'Aarde was against it at first but after seeing her daughter miserable for years, he had finally relented. Her mother on the other hand soured at the prospect of a less important daughter. You see, she was supposed to be this great psychologist, to unravel the great mysteries of the human mind. Instead, her daughter wanted to be a glorified artisan, with only a very expensive piece of paper separating her from the hippies.

Sena's heart sunk all over again when, in in the recesses of her mind, she heard a phone ring. Memories of picking it up and answering, "yes, this is Peter d'Aarde's home. Who is it?" it all had come crashing down. Words like hospital, hot day, heart failure... Nothing they could do to help...

A tear escaped her eye. It had been 8 years. Her father had died on his way to an airport. It was a hot summer day so he had taken a cab instead of taking a bus coming back from a business trip. He probably thought he was being selfish for splurging on something so frivolous. He had been away from home for a week and just wanted a little bit of comfort. The taxi driver didn't have time to do anything. Minutes after getting in, Peter had suffered a massive heart attack and died instantly.

Before the memories of the trip she had to take to arrange the transport of her father's remains flooded her mind, Sena went to the bathroom. A shower will help her chase away the memories. It wasn't as if that was the only bad thing that happened. With her father gone, there was no buffer to protect her from her mother and she found out just who her progenitor really was. A manipulative snake who cared about nothing but to show off to her sisters. To constantly best them, no matter the cost. Even if it meant verbally abusing her daughter on a daily basis.

Oooo-oooO

Sena arrived at the ruins under the cover of the night. Athelan had already prepared the altar and marked the glyphs on the sandy patch at the center of the place. Three strangers were kneeling down just outside the markings. They were tied down and had a dreamy gaze in their eyes. The man and two women were thin and malnourished.

"They seem to be refugees from the blight. Caught them on the road."

"Good, no one will notice their disappearance."

"Are you sure you want to do this, Sena? I can take you with me."

The old half-breed apostate looked at her, he had what she learned to identify as a sick desire for her. He had never done anything to her. She was only fifteen and he has been her teacher for eight years now. But lately he was different. It was always a look, an accidental touch, an uninvited caress. He was growing bolder as she got older and she couldn't wait to be rid of him. Little did he know that he was to be the main piece in her plan.

She smiled back at him, holding back the bile creeping up her throat. "It'll be alright. If this works, we won't have to run. Ever."

The ruins where they were standing was at the top of a small grass covered hill. Ancient glyphs decorated what was left of the walls.

Sena set the offerings on each point of the triangle drawn on the floor and called for her teacher to stand with her at the center focus of the glyph. They began to chant and a strange violet light illuminated the connecting lines. With a dagger in hand, Sena drew the tip of it across the innocent victims' throats. One by one they fell and the blood flowed around them.

"Rothzun, hear my orders. I demand your presence!"

Athelan felt his pupil's power flow through him. She was the most beautiful and powerful mage he had ever encountered in his whole life. Never had he felt such a clear connection to the fade than when she was casting. He knew what to do. He taught her this summoning and she thought the demon would take her away. But he had other plans. He knew exactly what to request. Her complete devotion to him. He has been grooming her for this day since the very beginning. Soon, he could use her as he pleased, her powers and her body.

Oooo-oooO

"Sena! Come here. Have you done everything I asked you?"

"No, mother. I had to work."

"But I need it done now!"

"Do it yourself, I have my own responsibilities."

"You are as ungrateful as your cousins. Are you going to attack me for asking a simple favor?"

"I'm not anyone but myself, mother, and I will not enable you any more. If you want it done, do it yourself. I have taught you countless times how to use a computer. Whatever is the reason you don't do it, I have nothing to do with it."

"Disrespectful child. I am the ruler of this house and you will obey me."

"Mother, I have worked the whole day to pay for your bills. Just leave me alone."

Sena went to her room and locked her door. Thankfully, she had it well equipped and with a click on her phone and soft headphones on her head, she found peace while listening to the music she used to listen with her father.

It didn't escape her notice that she still lived as a teenager while clearly she was a grown woman of thirty three years of age. But with her father's death, the debts that he was paying were now her responsibility, and the superstitious man had never allowed to take life insurance. Her life stopped 8 years ago. She dropped out of college and took the responsibilities of the house. She stopped living and just survived.

Another headache on its way, Sena held herself tight, surrendering to the darkness of nothingness in the hopes the pain would go way.

Oooo-oooO

"Who dares call me?" - The pride demon pierced the couple in front of him with his blazing electric eyes.

Both mages stood side by side. Athelan prepared a bolt of electricity to incapacitate Senna and when he reached for her, the girl hid behind him. _Maker, she is afraid… how quaint._ He lowered his hand and gave himself a moment to enjoy her fear.

The old mage smiled. But his hubris blinded him to the fact that Sena had placed her hands on each side of his head. With a swift pulse of magic, augmented by the blood flowing around them, she robbed him of all senses, his voice failed him.

"I, Sena Trevelyan, demon." - Athelan knelt over, his last thoughts only laughed of his foolishness. _Of course she was going to betray me._

"I see... What is your request, human?"

"I request transport to another reality. The one I often visit in my dreamscape. I know it to be real and I know I will be free at this other side. Take me there, demon."

"You ask much. No power can reach that far. I can only take your essence. Know, there is no going back, there is no flow from where you want to go to here."

"Do it." - Sena slit her master's throat and directed a thread of blood to envelop the demon. _Any reality is better than this._

She closed her eyes and let go of all which tethered her to this world.

"I am free!"


	2. Prologue 2

"Master! She is waking up!"

"Sena, my angel. Can you hear me?"

Sena felt as if coming back from dead. Never had she slept this deep in her whole life. She didn't remember anything, but she knew she had dreamed. Voices from her unconscious mind still reached her. Her beloved father's voice was still calling her...

"Sena, please... it`s been three days. Maker, please, wake up..."

Sena opened her eyes and a blurry form came into focus in front of her.

"Sena?"

She screamed. Her screams came from the depths of her lungs, wistfully trying to exorcise the ghost in front of her.

"Sena, it's all right. It's over, you are safe."

"It can't be! Father?!" - She broke down in tears and sobs stopped her from screaming. The man sat beside her bed, a worried frown marking his face, one hand pleading... reaching for her.

"Sena, my angel. Calm down. What has that monster done to you?"

Sena only cried now. The man in front of her surely was a figment of her imagination. _I've gone mad. The day has come when my mind isn't my own anymore._ Her world was torn down into a living hell after his death. She wished, prayed but knew seeing him again would only mean she is dead. If that! Afterlife wasn't actually something she truly believed in.

"Father?" - Her voice was failing her. She gathered her courage. _If this is really he, then he means no harm._

Petrus Trevelyan felt his heart sink at the sight of his terrified daughter. They had found her not far from their home, after she had disappeared for a whole day. He and his man went out searching for her and discovered a scene of nightmares. His daughter was lying unconscious on the floor. The teacher and three other strangers dead around her. He was no fool, he knew she had performed a ritual of blood magic and they were her victims. He would never disown his beloved daughter. She was a gift from the Maker and he was going to help her in any way he could. She was so much like her mother. So he burned the bodies and all vestiges of what had transpired at that place and brought his daughter back home.

The maids had cared and settled her on her bed. His wife had gone to Starkhaven for the Chantry summer gathering and blessedly would arrive only a couple of days before the Templars. He stood by his daughter side all this time, only leaving to relieve himself. Three days. For three days his heart wound itself tight in fear his angel wouldn't make it.

Sena reached a hand to touch his.

Contact.

 _He is real? -_ Sena was now sure she had lost her mind. _Am I dead?_ Fitting her hand in his, he pulled her forward and she landed on his lap. Instinctively she curled up to him and hugged him with all she could.

The now silent tears which were running down her cheeks were a mix of happiness and grief. She had lost herself but found her father. Maybe she was dead? Was this heaven and he came to greet her?

"Shhh, my sweet angel. It's over now. That mage is gone and the templars who are coming for you have no idea of what you've done. I managed to keep this even from your mother. You are safe. You still have to go to the circle, but I will do everything in my power that you are treated well there."

Sena felt the rumbling his words made on his chest while her father spoke. His words made little sense. Once their weird meaning started to sink in on her she lifted her head from his chest and looked at him. Now really taking in every detail.

He looked younger than she remembered. His curly black hair didn't show a strand of white. Frowning in question, she now looked around. This place was familiar to her. She had seen it in dreams before. A somber brass crow sitting on what appeared to be an ancient wooden table looked back at her.

"Mistress, would you care for some water?"

Sena looked at the woman in front of her. She was strange, her features distorted somehow, her blond hair was pulled back on a simple bun, her ears... From the recesses of her mind, memories alien to her flooded her mind. The pain made her slip from her father's lap back to the bed and she and held her head as if to prevent it from blowing up. Overwhelmed, she fainted.

"She is alive Ellena. Andraste bless us, she is alive. Tuck her in and stay here with her until she awakes. Only time will tell if she is well. All I can hope is that this happens before the templars arrive."

Lord Trevelyan left the room and sent out a quick prayer. _Andaste, please, I beg you, protect her._

Oooo-oooO

Sena d'Aarde woke up to a dimly lit room. This time, she opened her eyes and purposefully examined every detail her retinas captured. The brass crow was still there. The odd blond woman sat on a chair beside the bed, her head lolled with every breath in her deep sleep. A red velvet comforter weighed over her body. A fireplace with soft embers still gave away the remains of their heat.

 _I have gone insane... this feels so real! Where am I?_ \- Images and thoughts came to her slowly at first. She looked at the brass crow and words like marcher, sigil, tradition flooded her mind. The thoughts were hollow and the images had no emotions attached to them. It was like seeing a movie through another person's eyes, those were pieces which connected meaning to whatever she wondered and experienced.

The woman, Ellena, came with a series of images. She had held her hand while she tried to walk, fed her when she was sick. She always regarded her with kind eyes and soft words of wisdom and care.

She looked at her hands and saw a younger version of her own. The cuts and scars she had from crafting the random DIY projects she loved to do weren't there anymore. Tentatively, she touched her face and lips. Everything seemed to be exactly how it used to be. Full lips, soft shaped chin, small and sloped nose. Her eyebrows felt fuller, but the real surprize was her hair. Along the familiar curly texture there was a heavy braided bun at the top of her head. No longer the forever mid length which never grew.

Looking around, she found a mirror and couldn't believe what she was seeing. It was her, albeit younger. Down to the pale skin and the same freckles she had on her right cheek near her eye. Yellowy-whisky brown eyes looked back at her and when she smiled, the same slightly overlapping top teeth appeared back to her.

She touched the mirror. _What is going on here?_

Outside, the sun was rising and Ellena stirred in her chair. "Mistress you're up. Are you well?"

"My head hurts a little, Ellena, but thank you for asking. I believe I'm all right."

The maid froze on the chair. Never in her whole life has the young lady Trevelyan been polite and considered with her. She was like her mother more than she could ever possibly admit. Whatever the young woman did that night...

"I'll prepare your morning meal, mistress. I'll inform your father you are awake."

"My father... yes. Thank you Ellena."

Sena saw the maid leave in a with in swift pace. Her mind, overwhelmed with information, she felt something other. Like an aura, a breath of energy that blossomed from deep inside her, something she so far had no name for enveloped and sizzled around her skin. It felt like an electric gentle caress that elicited a feeling of boundless possibilities in her.

 _Esquizofrenia, it can only be it. A severe break with reality_. Lifting her hand, she waved it in front of the embers and a spell flowed from her body's memory through the energy and was made real in enflaming the embers. A hot flash and the fires lifted considerably until the meager remains of the kindle in there turned to ash. _I have lost my mind._

Oooo-oooO

"Ellena, have you seen Sena?"

"No master, but my I suggest that she is, maybe, in the arboretum? She has taken great interest in that place in the past week."

"But she hates gardening."

"I know."

The mystified but knowing look his maid gave him was the same reflecting in his own Trevelyan set his route to the arboretum. That place was linked with the main building by an exterior path tiled in smooth stones. The view of lush trees and bushes from the garden accompanied him in his small journey. At the enclosed patch of nature, surrounded by glass panels as tall as the tallest trees inside it, Petrus opened the arboretum's wide doors.

"Who's there?"

"Angel? Are you here?"

"Yes" She was. Wherever here was. She had lost her mind, the madness in her mother's family finally catching up with her. Her father's death, her mother's abuse a life trapped between duty and obligations. The confusion when she had first awoken gone, reality crashed down on her when the days passed and her predicament persisted. _I am so weak, I broke so easily._ A tear ran down her cheek.

Petrus found his daughter sitting on the grass surrounding the herb garden. She had books strewn around her, some of them he recognized from his late mother's library. Others, seemed like journals, her's in fact. His suspicion that something grave had happened that day only grew.

"Sena, angel, what is wrong?"

"Father, I am sorry you found me like this." She wiped her tears from her eyes. Trying as much as she could to hide him from her line of sight. Looking at him was still painful.

"Angel, do not worry." Lowering himself, he reached at her and laid his hand softly on her shoulder.

Sena's heart constricted. This was too much torture. Her misfiring brain spearing her with her longing to have her life back to herself. She didn't flinch… all she could do was take deep breaths.

"I am concerned about you. Is all this because you are to go to the Circle?"

"No, father. I'm going through something that is my own. You don't need to worry about it." Marshaling her features, she found in herself a somewhat genuine smile.

"When you're ready. I am here for you, daughter."

Sena got up and hugged him. If the pain from this madness break her, she would at least take joy in it, whatever she could get.

The man left her while she churned the memories of the ritual which supposedly brought her here. Her brain had memories stored in it, like snippets of random videos on a computer. They were dull and didn't have any emotion linked to them. It felt hollow, as if without it's original owner present, they lost significance and just existed, to be viewed, re-signified and forgotten.

She heard her own voice speaking back to a man "Whatever it takes. I will not live an apostate life and I definitely will never set foot on a Circle.". The other 'her' wrote the details down in her journal which she was now reading. Flashes of memories sparked in her mind. A middle aged man looking back at her "To leave this plane we would need to summon a demon. It'll be messy. We'll probably need three offerings."

Images of the ritual flashed in her mind and the horror made her collapse on the floor. The woman, 'she', had murdered four people to do that. Words like blood magic and Templars and their full meanings froze her spine in fear. _Who in their right mind would do such a horrible thing?_

From what she could piece so far, the previous occupant from this… hers... body had performed a magic ritual to escape this life. With the sparse science knowledge she had, theories of the multiverse rang in her mind. Theoretically speaking, all this could be. Especially since this world did not share the same physics laws with hers. The trip was one sided, the portal _or wormhole_ could only have been opened here, and while it was open, both sides communicated. The demon wasn't powerful enough to send her bodily through, so her soul went instead. _And mine was displaced to give way for hers._

Some things in this new land were direct parallels with her old reality. Her father's and mother's lineage were, as far as she could tell, the same. _Maybe we were genetically compatible?_ 'She' probably had a window of seven more years at most before Sena's original body's lifespan expired. ' _She' gave up eighteen years of her life!_

 _Why was 'she' so afraid? What was 'she' afraid of?_ Sena looked at her arms, her wrists. The blood had swirled around her and into the demon. Its life, mana. _I suspect it altered this body in some way. The memories in this body showed me 'she' had powers, but not like what I feell now._ _Bloodmagic._ The subject was taboo and its practice prohibited. She looked into a pocket mirror and searched her eyes. The same overall brown irises were there, a gradient from brown streaked with topaz yellow but right outside her pupil, there was in both eyes, a faint bright red circle, fear crept up her spine. _Can anyone find out? What would happen to me?_ The possibility she had gone mad still festered her guts.

Oooo-oooO

"Ellena, has the package from Starkhaven arrived? It is to be a surprise this week before she leaves."

"No, Master, but Edwin, the smith, said there was severe rain at the roads outside the city two days ago."

"Ah, soon then. Madame Celestine has good timing."

"You requested garments for Lady Sena, master?"

The maid was right in questioning him. His daughter hated not picking exactly what she wanted. "This time, Ellena, I think this time, she will like it."

Peter found his daughter in the library. Between that and the arboretum, the girl now spent all her time alone reading. He had caught her with genealogical records, history books, reviewing years of notes from her late teacher. So much different from before.

Peter had a book to give to her. Weeks had passed since he found her. Before this day, he had never considered showing it to her. She was too power hungry and the knowledge preserved in the tomes from his obscure Tevinter forefather, would have driven her to excesses which not even he could tolerate. Abraxius Drovelius had escaped Tevinter with nothing but what he could carry. A successful scholar, he escaped certain death from Magisters who wanted to kill him to harness his powers. He brought and hid the books with his works, research on ancient elven magic, lore and history.

Looking at the old tome's cover, Abraxius Drovelius' works on the relations of fade and the schools of magic, Peter took a deep breath. His intuition screamed at him that now was the time, that she had changed. But the image of the bodies of her victims still haunted him.

"Angel?"

"Yes, father?" Sena's voice came from the bowels of the library.

He found her sitting on his desk, books littering the table. Maybe she searched for a reason why in a non magical family, one appeared out of nowhere. One could even question his paternity, but apart from her brown eyes, so different from his blue ones, she had his nose, lips, hair, cheeks. It was impossible to say she wasn't his blood.

"Sena, I have something for you." He looked at her and the feeling that now she was a different person, the daughter he had always prayed to the Maker to give him, solidified in his chest.

"Oh, really? What is it? Please, sit with me." She gestured to a chair at her side.

"This book." He sat down and handed it to her. "This book is from our Tevinter forefather. The only mage in our family, hidden for generations. When he arrived in the place which is now Ostwick, he changed his name to Goran Trevelyan, four ages ago. He hid his origins and his magic, started anew."

"Father, this is incredible." She gave the book a small appraisal.

"I understand that sometimes you may have asked yourself where your magic comes from, Maker knows how much your mother has asked this question"

"I may have. But I don't worry about it anymore. I believe I'll be able to learn more about it at the Circle."

"Angel, are you sure. You were so adamant in not going. You even tried to run away!"

"I... I changed my mind, father. The time has come for me to let go of childish ways." Sena smiled at the man. The time had come for her to accept her place in this brave new world. There was no going back and insane or not, she couldn't arrest her life based solely in fear. _Whatever this is, I will take it as a gift, and I will do my best with it._

"That night... You..." Peter felt uncomfortable with her display of maturity.

"That night I was given a second chance, father. Athelan wasn't a good person. He taught me things and coerced me to keep it hidden. That day at the ruins, I intended to run away, he had promised me he would make everything all right. But I was wrong to trust him. He wanted to harvest my powers, I should have run away when I saw those people tied. He slit their throats and when the demon came…" The man's worried gaze gave her a pause. "I am still myself, father." His face was still shocked, but she continued. "The demon turned on him and killed him, when he came after me I… I have no idea from where the strength came, but I banished him. The spell was so draining that I collapsed. And then you found me."

"Maker, I had no idea! Your mother told me Athelan came with the best of recommendations from her contacts in Kirkwall!"

"This is one of the things I have been researching. I contacted the the Order in Kirkwall, requesting information about him, and their answer was terrifying. They sent congratulations to whoever killed him, don't worry I did not provide specifics. Her father gave her a worried look. I told them he was romancing cousin Maren. They informed that he was on the run for practicing bloodmagic and seducing young mages at their Circle."

Peter lunged forward and hugged his daughter. "Maker! Did he hurt you? Why didn't you come to me?"

"I'm fine, he didn't hurt me. I believe he was waiting until after the ritual. I would have been left unhinged, almost Tranquil. He had done this to three others back at Kirkwall." Sena accepted the man's care. In her heart, the parallels of the universes mending. This man was her father, another iteration of him, different but still the same.

"You mean, all this time…"

"I am myself now, papa. I want to go to the Circle, I want to study. I need to."

"I will do my best to have you home for the summers."

"I will really like that." Sena smiled.


	3. Chapter 01

Sena was laying on a soft bed, enclosed by warm blankets. Memories of the fateful events which brought her to this world came back to her, playing in her mind. This crazy and amazing world filled with magic and dragons. Beauty and darkness. She looked at the black ceiling and in that darkness the memories played like a movie.

"Oh! I didn't know you were asleep. I swear."

Sena sat up startled, her eyes focused on the elven woman in front of her.

"What? No... But that is ok. Don't worry about, I only..."

"I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant."

"It is all right. You did nothing wrong. Where am I?"

"You're back in Haven, my lady. They say you saved us, the breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. It's all everyone has talked about in three days."

"It worked?"

"Yes my lady. But I need to go and tell lady Cassandra that you are awake. She asked me to go to her at once!"

The woman ran off and left her alone in what looked like a simple bedroom. It had some amenities but was extremely cold. Burrowing into the covers, Sena looked up at the now, illuminated ceiling, and couldn't believe her predicament. _Fate has a serious case of bad humour. First I came here and now… this…_

Ten years had passed from that fated day when she had been ripped away from her world and brought into this foreign land filled with mysteries and magic. She eventually had found her place in this strange new world. She survived and even thrived at the Circle. And now, her life was upside down gain. The Blight, the mage rebellion and now the Breach.

Getting up, she found a set of simple clothes on top of a chair. Next to it was a table with a washbasin and a carafe full of fresh water. These simple daily costumes were now part of her. No longer missing the conveniences of technology. Life was simpler and also brighter, she was happy. _Was, is the main word here._

Outside the hut, the sight of an entire village paying her respect humbled her. _I will survive this._ _I just want my life back. We were so close. The conclave… They would have listened to us. All I want is to be able to live with dignity._ Sena recalled what she could remember of the events which led her to this present. Looking at her hand, the faint emerald glow was almost beautiful.

Oooo-oooO

"Chain her, I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial."

"Disregard that and leave us."

Sena watched the exchange. The Chancellor appeared to be a frightened and blind power hungry bureaucrat while Cassandra seemed to be defending her. She didn't know these people and whatever were their plans, she needed to know it didn't involve her head on a pike.

"Wait! What? I'm still a suspect?"

"You most certainly are." The Chancellor eyed her with a decided gaze.

Sena watched the exchange until she caught Cassandra proclaiming. "Providence, the Maker sent her in our darkest hour."

"Are you insane? I'm not the chosen one. You do realize I'm a mage."

"I have not forgotten."

Deciding to listen to what the Seeker and Leliana had to say, Sena tried to understand what was going on. They didn't look like religious fanatics for once, and that was a relief. She heard all their plans and motives to start an Inquisition.

"You want my help?"

"You are the only one who can seal rifts, you are already part of this weather you like it or not. Help us fix it before it's too late."

"I'll help you for now. Up until a few days ago you had me shackled and wanted to hang me for a crime I did not commit. It takes more than this to win my trust."

"You are right, but you cannot fault me in that, you are the only survivor."

"I was forced out of my home, by the grand enchanter, to come to the conclave to help mediate between the many who desire a normal life and the extremists who want freedom at any cost, to help in protecting us from the Templars and the Chantry. Nobody there wanted this. All mages want is the right to have a life!"

"The plight of mages is known, Trevelyan, Cassandra and I are well aware of it and for what we have seen in you, I believe we share the same views." Leliana appeased.

"You can count on me, I will not let Thedas succumb to the chaos of the Breach, but I expect to be treated as an equal, even with my being a mage."

They shook hands. - "Then let us begin."

Oooo-oooO

The willingness of the Inquisition members to accept her and have her in their ranks quelled most of Sena's fears. As she walked through the streets of Haven, its citizens oscillated between reverence and fear of her. She was a mage and had a magical mark on her hand that was linked with all the chaos. Few treated her as a regular person. Sena was on her way to the chantry when she crashed into Cullen.

She had only exchanged a few words with the man. He would often stand in the middle of the training grounds, giving orders to the other men. Always with a self contained, sombre look in his eyes. He was introduced as the Commander of their army, seemed to be very polite, a gentleman. But years in the Circle made her weary of Templars.

It was instinctual, she never approached him unless they were having a meeting. Everytime she laid eyes on him she felt uneasy. She knew he was an ex-Templar, as much as that is a thing or not. The man was extremely handsome, and that made a very dangerous mix. Something inside her fluttered when she looked up into his honey eyes.

"Herald?" - Cullen observed her while her mind ran amok. Soft expressions were crossing her face. He wondered what she was musing about. She was a plain woman and he could feel her power rolling out of her in waves. This close, the crash of her power on his skin felt different. It was electric and made his stomach lurch. But she was to work with them and mage or not, she deserved his respect.

"Yes?".

"I believe we haven't had the chance to talk."

"No we haven't. But I need to go now." Sena lowered her head and started walking, she had been summoned to a meeting.

Cullen was taken aback. _I guess she is just rude._ He watched her entering the Chantry. _Odd woman. She took the mountain path and saved the scouts._ Dismissing his thoughts, he entered after her. They had a meeting this afternoon. He would speak to her another day.

At the war room, Sena heard them talking of an Inquisition. That word along many others like Holocaust and the Plague had a whole different weight in their meaning which they would never know of, but for her, that word frightened her and made her weary of what was going around her.

"Some are calling you, a mage, the Herald of Andraste. That frightens the Chantry" Josephine pulled Sena back from her musings.

"Just how am I the Herald of Andraste?"

"People saw what you did at the temple, how you stopped the breach from growing. They have also heard of the woman seen in the rift when we first found you. They believe that was Andraste."

"And we are not stopping these rumours." said Josephine.

"It's quite the title, isn't it? How do you feel about that?" Cullen wanted to figure her out. Maybe she was just another power hungry mage like the ones in Kirkwall.

"It's unnerving, unsettling. It is wrong. I don't know who or what delivered me from the fade. I have no idea of what happened! Maybe the commander would be more at ease if it was someone else who is not a mage?"

"No... I didn't mean it like that. I'm, sure the Chantry would agree" Cullen, took a different look at her. She was extremely defensive.

"But I do not believe in the Maker. Well, not in a sense. I'm open to its existence if he or she is proven to exist one day. But Andraste, fickle gods. I do not agree to be called that."

"People need you to be their beacon of hope in this darkest hour. Your title, no matter how accurate, will help us guide Thedas back to order." Leliana reasoned.

The meeting passed in a blur. As the members of the Inquisition discussed all the details of how they would organize and proceed. Sena felt the weight of the world on her back. All of them looked like competent people and it looks like she is good hands, but the yawning abyss she would have to cross to be finally able to bring back order to Thedas frightened her.

Oooo-oooO

The Hinterlands was vast and Sena tried to reach every corner of it. The refugees were now well supplied and most of the breaches there were closed. Active combat was a draining but satisfying exercise. Something she felt a need to practice more.

On their horses, they were almost back at Haven with Mother Giselle in tow. The woman's views on magic were refreshing and Sena felt like they did a good thing in bringing the woman to the Inquisition. The Mother gave her hope. Solas kept a few paces back. The elf seemed to have taken a renewed especial interest in her.

In their excursion, Sena managed to find great materials to make herself a better armor. She was full of ideas to do what she did best, Create and craft.. She had never been able to put her talents in crafting to real good use. Apart from her most prized items, her staff and her ring, nothing too serious ever came out of it. Unless you count pipes… Her father was weary, but after it was finished, extremely happy when she approached him with the crazy idea of using rock and metal tubes to interconnect the castle

With her knowledge from her previous life she managed to improve and make beautiful things. From simple house aids to clothing. Making staves, clothing and jewelry were her favorite hobby.

They took their horses to the stables. Cassandra took the Mother to the chantry and Varric made his way to the tavern. Solas kept with his scrutiny of her.

"Solas, you look like you have something to tell me?"

"You have studied elven lore, Herald?"

"Yes. They possess an interesting view on how magic works."

"I would never have guessed the Circle would encourage such studies."

"No, they don't." She smiled at him. "But I still looked for it. Once I was old enough to understand that they are part of our magical history. I just couldn't leave it aside."

"That is… surprizing. You do have an energy about you, is it from your studies?"

"An energy? Really? How do you mean?" Sena answered with a smile. She loved conversing with Solas.

"I feel something different in you. Did you encounter anything while you were in the Fade?"

For a moment Sena worried. The other 'her' actions had left consequences on the flesh she now inhabited but no one has ever suspected anything, but her new companion was far more educated in the ways of the fade. "I don't know. You know I have no memory of what happened beyond what I have told you." She kept her voice light. _If I assume he knows something it'll will make me more prone to mistakes._

"Comprehensible. It's just... you seem so at peace. Even when there are demons abound. I have no problems also, but for a Circle mage. It is impressive."

Sena smiled. So this was it. The elf has always been straightforward and incisive with her. She really liked him for it. It was refreshing and she hated innuendos and hidden meanings. "It may be the result of my practice of something I named self awareness meditation."

"Really?"

"It's a form of meditation I always fell back to when what the Circle was teaching didn't work. I use my breathing and heart beat to pulse and flow my mana. With practice, wielding it becomes like a breath of air. One you can inhale and blow hard, slow, gently, with purpose."

"That is very interesting. I heard of such techniques in old elven rituals. How have come about it?"

"I don't know. If this has a name I would have no idea. I just did it out of instinct and it worked, so I kept doing it. If you want I can show it to you one day." _Or studying my forefather's work, but that is… not something which needs to be said._

"I would really like that. But at another time. " - Solas left her to tend to her horse.

Oooo-oooO

Cullen stood across the field watching the Herald. She was a regular woman, with nothing especial about her. But he felt drawn to her. He couldn't understand why. No matter how common she looked, she always arrested his eyes whenever she was in his field of view.

Sena felt observed. She was talking to Master Harrit about her latest ideas for forging and crafting, meanwhile, she felt warm and regarded. Saying her goodbyes to the smith she turned around and saw Cullen looking at her. The feel of unease in her belly kept coming back when he was around. That feeling irritated her, made her feel vulnerable. He looked entranced by her. It was only when she took a few paces in the direction of the gates that he looked away. _What a strange man._

Once in her dormitory, Sena closed the windows and began her nightly routine. The elven maid who never stayed around long enough to allow Sena to thank her, had managed to get her a decent sized tub while she was away for all those weeks, and now, she found it filled with water for her to bathe in. Sena prepared her blankets and started the fire on the fireplace with a wave of her hand. With a second she warmed the water to a perfect temperature.

 _Commander Cullen..._ The Commander kept returning to her thoughts. Laying in her humble wooden bathtub Sena kept trying to push the image of him away from her mind. The man was careful and well mannered towards her and she felt like a fool for acting her ingrained prejudice on him. _He isn't from Ostwick... He could be a decent man._

* * *

 **I intend on glossing over the main regions and quests unless I need them to advance the story. My focus is the romance between Cullen and Trevelyan.**

 **Any thoughts or commentaries? Feel free to share them with me.**


	4. Chapter 02

Eyes open, Cullen wiped away the dampness from his eyebrow. The night sweats were still plaguing him and when one managed to take him, he would wake up in a wet bed. Giving up on going back to sleep, his bed would need the whole day to dry up, he made his way to the training grounds.

Once outside, Cullen made himself busy with checking the practice dummies and the equipment cache. Dawn painted the sky lavender and orange and it would stay like that for a good while before the first recruit would show up for practice.

It took a while for him to notice that there was someone else up at that ungodly hour. The hooded figure stood far away, practicing fighting positions with a staff. After watching her for a while, he picked up a blunt training sword and walked towards her, watching her with his teacher eyes, analyzing what she could improve in her routine.

Sena stopped in the middle of a movement. She saw him with the corner of her eye and stopped what she was doing. "May I help you, commander?"

Cullen could feel her power pushing against him. "Early bird?"

Sena dug the tip of her staff on the snow and regarded the man in front of her. "One could say that."

"No, please, don't stop. I couldn't help but notice you practicing. You have... good form."

Sena raised one eyebrow. "Is it with this type of honest advice that you train our troops, Commander?"

"Well, I didn't know how to approach you."

The honesty in his voice rang inside her."You can always shoot for honesty. It will always work with me."

"Very well. You need improvement. I could show you, if you like."

"Better." She smiled. "But you don't need to waste your time with me. I am sure your recruits need you."

"My recruits have practice with Cassandra today." He observed her intently. She was standing slightly to her side, with a guarded stance. _Why?_

"Improve, you say?" She looked at him and raised one eyebrow. "Circle life didn't prepare me for war."

"That would have been very unusual indeed." - A soft smile lifted the right corner of his lips. Sena watched him wearily and no matter what, she couldn't find fault in the man. He was always polite and kind with her. But still, a chill in her stomach flourished in his presence.

Sena lifted her staff as if preparing for attack and Cullen took the cue. They practiced the whole morning, oddly, no one came to find them. She cast low level electricity balls just to make a soft impact and not hurt the man while he defended and attacked. Cullen danced with her, calling her out when she dropped her guard or missed a move.

Cullen noticed her getting tired and lowered his practice sword to give her time to catch her breath. "You use a different staff. I've never seen one like it. Did you craft it yourself?"

Her staff was shorter than the standard size and was half shaft, half an elongated blade. It still had the common tip most staves had, with crystals and runes of focus on it. But when turned around, it became a deadly blade, slightly curved, which could be wielded with both hands.

Sena looked at it and handed him the weapon. "Yes. I wanted something that I could use when I ran out of mana or if I have been Smitten by a Templar." She looked at him, trying to catch every emotion that ran through his face.

Testing the blade with both hands, he felt awkward with it. It was far lighter than his sword and also shorter but not too short. The craftsmanship of it was impressive. He carefully ran his thumb on its edge and the blade cut it like butter, removing the top part of the glove and opening a deep gash on his flash.

"Maker! This blade is sharp!" He pressed on the wound.

"Commander!" She gave him an amused smile. "Here, give me your hand."

"Haha! I feel like an idiot..." His lips pulled into a self admonishing smile.

Cullen observed her closely. She removed his glove and took his hand in hers. She had a concentrated look on her face. When he felt her power pulse and contract, he felt uneasy. It took a some effort to not decline the help but oddly enough, he felt safe. He was also curious, so he braced himself and observed the process, noticing that from the moment she touched him, the sickening feel which usually came with her presence was gone and the pain stopped.

Holding his hand on hers she felt like caring for something important to her, even tho she kept telling herself he was far from it, he was a potential enemy. A Templar. He had the brute strength to do anything he wanted with her, but decided not to do so. His hand was warm and rough from decades of sword training. Sena pushed all her thoughts aside and directed her attention at his tissues, his energy. She allowed his energy inside her and added hers to it, connecting herself to him. Her barrier, incompatible with this process, had melted away. She triggered a soft lavender energy to pour out of her hand and upon connecting with his skin, she visualised the cells multiplying, mending, healing. The process somewhat different from how other mages did it. Her knowledge of physiology from her previous life made her a much more efficient healer.

"Here, good as new." She looked up at him.

Cullen was quiet for a moment. The repelling push about her had ceased and in those fleeting moments, all he felt was the warm and inviting hum of her powers. He looked down at her and her eyes took his breath away. For a brief moment he saw deep molten chocolate swirled with honey. And then it was gone, the repelling push came back. _So this is what I have been feeling... she has a spell on. She has a barrier._ He was mistified. "Thank you, Herrald." He said with a quiet voice.

"Oh, here, give me this too." She held his glove in her hands and then gave it back to him.

"You mended the glove too? How? I didn't know it was possible."

"It's just a matter of feeling the material and rebinding it. Some are easier than others." _And understanding chemistry processes far beyond what this culture has ever grasped._

"Thank you, I appreciate it, Herrald." Cullen went quiet again. This woman before him was a mystery. He wanted to know her better. In a feeble excuse to stay in her company, and also, because he was curious, he asked. "Show me how you use it?"

"The blade?"

"If you don't mind."

With a twist of her wrist, the blade coated itself with a layer of leather. That is how he had usually seen her staff when she walked around town. "They will never know what hit them. Hm?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Something like that. But since I want you to stay very much alive and I will not mend shorn fur, this will stay sheeted." She had a small proud smile on her lips.

His answering smile made her uncomfortable. Shaking it off she raised the bladed side of her staff and started moving. She danced around him like she used to when practicing in her other life, she had been a ninjitsu orange belt, and it was impossible for him to hit her, even with her very rusted moves. She tapped him in key places like the back of his knees and armpits. With each tap, Cullen grew bolder and bolder with his advances.

"Maker! Where did you learn to fight like this?"

From his back, Sena tapped him in the neck. "In another life Commander." Her voice was serious, her brow furrowed. Feeling bold, she lunged forward, but that was a mistake. She never made that move, improvising, and he recognized it immediately and countered with his sword and shield. Her barrier protected her but she spun around and fell on the snow facing up. Had this been a real fight and she without her protection, she would have lost an arm.

"Well, you had to get me at least once, Commander." She gave a small laugh.

"There you are, we need to have a meeting. Mother Gisele has given us information about the Chantry. Herald, we are going to Val Royeaux". Cassandra approached them with a curious look in her eyes. "Have you shown her that she drops her guard after releasing projectiles?"

"Are you all insane! They want me dead!" Sena reached for Cassandra's hands and the warrior pushed her up with one strong pull. "Also, please stop calling me that."

"Projectiles? You didn't use that spell, Herald. Maybe we could work on this, next?" Cullen heard the eagerness in his voice and felt confused. "What's in Val Royaux?"

"What? Oh, yes, no, I was keeping it soft, I didn't want to hurt you." She answered looking at Cassandra.

"I know, but we still need to go. The Chantry is in disarray at the moment and we need to make a move and show them that we are on their side. Leliana will be able to explain it to you in detail."

"But, can't we just write to them?"

Cassandra and Cullen looked at her. Sena knew they were right. "I had to ask… Or do you really think I would walk into a viper's nest on a whim?"

Cullen started laughing but held it in, with a smile. Cassandra looked at him and then at her and a small smile graced her lips. "The Herald had a sense of humor. That's what they'll say about you in the books. You just watch."

Oooo-oooO

Walking through white. Everywhere. The cold was biting. Sena was wearing only her thin night shift, her bare feet left a trail in the snow. If it were not for her ridiculous attire, she would think she was awake. This dream… it was so real. Looking around she found the gates of Haven. The gates were closed and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't get them open.

"Hey! Somebody! Please! Open the gates, I need to get in!" Sena screamed from the tops of her lungs.

The demon was still hot on his heels. His shield was gone, only his sword was left. Cullen limped around the circular corridors of Kinloch-Hold. There was nowhere else to run. All the doors were always locked. He knew this routine. He would run and fight until the demon reached him and shredded him to pieces.

At the far end of one of the countless corridors, there was one open door. The bright white light coming from it didn't allow him to see where it leaded. Without a second thought he ignored the pain in his ankle and ran for it. _Anything is better than this_.

The door disappeared behind him. Cullen looked at himself and saw that he still wore his old Templar armor. All the signs of his previous battles in his dream were still present on him. He was bloody everywhere and his armor was dented in several places. _Am I awake? No..._

"It's me! Sena Trevelyan! The Herald, which by the way, I hate being called that! Please, open the gates! I'm freezing!"

Walking aimlessly, Cullen heard the woman before he saw her standing in front of Haven's gates. _Another demon, and now, trying to enter the city!_ He ambled painfully towards the demon, trying to be cautious and silent.

Cullen appeared out of nowhere. Sena turned around and saw the Commander, he looked weary and beaten but he still had a firm grip on his sword. Sena wondered how many battles he had seen, if he had lost any. Even with all that, there was a powerful and sad beauty in him, his features were delicate and strong. The scars which marred his skin never managing to take from his beauty. Sena looked away. _Maybe, in another life, Commander._ "Don't bother, I've been here almost freezing to death and the doors won't open."

Cullen cursed silently, nevertheless, he readied his sword. "Reveal yourself demon. Your ruse will not work with me."

"Commander! What are you doing! I am no demon!" With a jolt of fear, Sena faced him fully, hands raised ready to defend herself if necessary. The despair she saw in his eyes sparked a deep sentiment inside her, she could feel echoes of his hurt pouring out of him. He was overflown. _Of course he too doesn't want me here. And even worse, there is no hope for him, he's hanging by a thread._

Cullen took in the woman in front of him. She was a vision of power and beauty. Her long dark curly hair was free and flowing with the chilling breeze, the simple thin silk camisole she wore hugged her generous form in the most enticing way. Her heavy breasts were unbound and free, her soft waist flared out in hips that were meant to be held tight in the throes of passion. She wasn't fit like a warrior or slight like elven women, nor as heavy as bar maids but almost as generous. She had a proper fullness about her that spoke of her noble blood, of her cloistered life in the Circle. Her face was delicate and soft with features akin to the muses described in ancient lore. Her eyes shone with spirit, wisdom, an awareness of herself and how powerful she was, and their indescribable colour captured his full attention. Her skin was pale and dusted with freckles here and there. He felt his body readying for her. _Another Desire demon!_

With a heavy heart, he knew what he had to do. No matter what she was, she wasn't the Herald, only an improved and tantalizing version of her. Conjured to undo him. His mind was playing tricks on him yet again."You have no power here demon!" - Before she could do anything, he lunged forward with his sword and penetrated her, deep in her belly.

She screamed in pain. Her red blood poured from the wound. Cullen stepped back and confusion and recognition froze his insides. _Wait, this is not supposed to happen. They disappear when I stab them, fight back or, simply ooze black and fall dead._ He pulled back the sword.

"I knew I could never trust you, Templar!" - In a wave of rage, Sena walked forward, unmindful of what else he could do to her, she raised her blood soaked hand and slapped him with all her strength, leaving a bloody imprint on his goateed face.

"Herald?" - His voice was hesitant. He was dreaming about Her.

"Disgraceful Templar! Just because I am a mage doesn't mean I am a demon!" - Sena's voice boomed in the snowy landscape. Slowly, she caressed the aura around her body, and skillfully mended her flesh.

Cullen stood there utterly confused, he was in awe of her power and somewhat relieved that he finally was dreaming of something other than horrors. Sena was looking at him with unadulterated hatred in her eyes. He dropped his sword and knelt in front of her. "I am sorry my Lady Herrald. I did not know it was you! You have my vow that I will always protect you, I will never hurt you."

"Your words are hollow to me. You are nothing but a zealot Templar who feels the need to kill every mage you lay eyes on." - With a flick of her wrist, she melted his armor away. Left in only his small clothes, the man immediately started to shiver. - "Freeze." With those last words she walked away.

Cullen saw a history of hurt in her eyes. On his knees and holding himself to keep warm. He watched the mage walk away past him towards the road. The mark of her footsteps on the snow vanishing the further she walked, until she disappeared.

Dimly, behind him, he heard the gates opening.

Oooo-oooO

Sena woke up in a jolt of fear, feeling her midriff, verifying if she was intact. Laying in the silken sheets of the inn just outside Val Royaux, she lay there. Breathless. _No hole, no blood._ She lifted the covers. _No blood._ The realization that it was just a dream wasn't enough. Fear still gripped her heart. _This is an omen. I need to keep away from that man._ But Sena's heart spoke different words. She felt her body warming up with the memory of the Commander's face in complete self admonishment, begging her forgiveness. He had regarded her in awe, with respect. Turning to on her side, she willed herself back to sleep. The trip to Haven will be long enough even if she's not sleep deprived. But the image of the man's half naked form knelt in front of her threatened to pull her into another type of addling dream.

Cullen woke up shivering with cold. His mind took a while to notice that his body wasn't actually cold, but what he was feeling were the lingering memories of his dream. _The lyrium abstinence apparently has a new symptom. Maker, give me strength._ Cullen donned his armor and set out to walk the sharp memory away. The image of the Lady Herrald and her curves was burned in his memory, she looked like a goddess. Shaking his head, he knew his mind was playing tricks on him. She wasn't all that and even if she was, she never shown an inclination towards him.


	5. Chapter 03

Val Royeaux was an experience, to say the least. Sena was marvelled by the beauty of the architecture and gardens. The docks had been her favorite place. Watching ships sailing in and out of the city gave her a feel of endless possibilities. Much like she had, in her other life, when she flew or went to airports. _If I could miss one thing, I miss mobility the most… and music._

The encounter with the Templars made her question what kind of power was pulling their strings. And question if she really wants to meet the person or group powerful enough to take their control away from the Chantry.

Meanwhile, Grand Enchanter Fiona was a welcome sight. Her invitation to visit the mage faction was a relief. If she was to close the breach, mages were the best option to supply her with the power she needed.

Oooo-oooO

Cullen was in his regular spot on the training grounds and a small part of him was eager to see the Herald arrive. She had been gone for a month now and was supposed to arrive at any day that week, he kept telling himself that he kept looking down the road near the forge not to look for her but to see if Master Dennet was actually taking the horses out to exercise or not.

Later that afternoon he was surprised to see that their usual group of four had two new additions. A blonde woman with a bow on her back and another with a staff on hers. Both were like night and day. The blonde looked like a street urchin while the other held herself like she owned everything until the last flake of snow around her. _A mage noble. I wonder how this is going to be._

Unlike other times, when they left their horses with the Horse Master, Cassandra and the Herald said their goodbyes and made their way directly towards him. He also noticed that Leliana was already waiting by the gates. Cullen didn't need any more hints, he started walking towards the spy master.

"War Room, now." Sena's voice was firm, and had a note of worry in it. On their way, Cullen, Josephine and Leliana were briefed by Cassandra and Sena.

"We need to go to the Templars!" Cullen pressed on.

"Are you insane?! As if they weren't keen on killing me because I'm an apostate, then now more than ever with this Herald of Andrade nonsense." Sena could see the uncomfortable look in Cassandra's face. They were becoming fast friends, but the Seeker still struggled a little with Sena's agnostic views.

"But they are the only ones capable of helping you with the breach!" Cullen appeared to have made up his mind.

"We don't know what is expecting us at Therinfal. We would be going in blind." Leliana reasoned.

"Commander, would it be possible to contact the Templars who share your views on the Order? There must be others out there. But I cannot, in sane conscience, go knocking at their doors." Sena asked.

"Of course we can. They are not all monsters. Some of them can still be saved from the chaos of the Order." Cullen ceeded.

"I don't believe any mage will come with us if we side with the Templars." Josephine levelled words pointed the difficult position.

"The mages started the rebellion. We wouldn't be in this mess if they had kept to their places." The moment Cullen finished speaking the last syllable, he knew he was wrong, he was just venting hot air. He knew perfectly well Templars had just the same amount of responsibility in all this chaos. He looked around and everybody looked back at him as if he had turned green all of a sudden. Except for Sena. She just looked furious.

"And what place would that be Commander? Of imprisonment by default, denied a life just because we have a connection to the fade? To never be able to own property, have a family, have children?" Sena's hackles went to the ceiling. The man was still a Templar, she was a fool thinking otherwise. Not letting him speak, she pressed on with her voice low and menacing, cold as ice. "To live under the threat of Tranquility as a mean to control their very free will? What kind of life do you think that is? Better yet, why bother, why don't you just execute us when our connection to the fade manifests?"

Cullen stood in his usual spot in the war room and words escaped him. The furious Herald in front of him was a plain display of how wrong he had been when he was stationed in Kirkwall. He feared mages, his experiences in Kinloch Hold left a too deep of a brand in him. He still had miles to go before he could redeem himself for all the pain his blind bigotry had caused.

Sena righted herself to her full stature and looked at the members of the Inquisition. None of them were mages. Whatever they knew was, at best, second hand accounts about the plight the mages suffered. "I wonder what would have been of the mages of Thedas if this mark had been bestowed on someone else. Would you have gladly corralled us back by force, locked us in and thrown away the key? I am a human being first, mage second. Magic serves me, and my actions are my own. It is my choice not to kill or inflict pain, as much as it is yours, Commander." The disdain in her voice was acid on his conscience. "What is needed is education and respect. Education prevents idiots from playing with fire, and respect prevents desperate mages from resorting to blood magic to protect themselves against oppression." She gave a heavy sigh. She was tired from the journey and this discussion wasn't helping. "I will not be an instrument of oppression."

"Herald…" Cullen's voice was quiet, but firm.

"Commander, you will send missives and coordinate with Leliana the best way to pick out the remaining good man in your Order, if such thing exists. Josephine, please, contact the nobles we have on our side and arrange for the respective Circles in their area to also call for the Templars still loyal to the virtues of the Order. Cassandra, that templar we met, the one who questioned Lucius, help find him, he seems like a good man. We will re-convene in a fortnight. I'll take my leave now. Good night."

Leliana watched the Herald talk and sensed that the Maker had a big sense of humor. She had always disagreed with how mages were treated and had fought, in her own way, to bring justice to them. Ever since her Grey Warden friend had shown her how noble and brave a mage could be, she knew she would play a part in their liberation. With the soft click of the door closing behind their warrior, Leliana declared."Commander, a foot in your mouth doesn't come near in describing what just happened here."

Cullen's head was low, the weight of his and her words heavy on him. "I know. I did not mean it like that. I know I am wrong."

Josephine stepped into the conversation in the hopes to disperse the heavy air that had settled in the room. They finished the meeting, organized all the Herald's requests and took their leave also. It had been a long day and they were all exhausted.

Oooo-oooO

Sena came out of the chantry and passed by the Quartermaster to ask for her elusive elven maid to come visit her later that day and then passed by Flissa, who had arranged to get her a decent bottle of strong red wine for her. Those bottles of Thedas she had been finding were too dodgy for her to even consider them. Sena was almost leaving the tavern when Sera managed to trap her in some chit chat. When she finally left the tavern she ran to her room. Tonight she had plans to take care of herself and organize her things. It was the best way she knew how to clear her head.

When she entered her quarters she didn't find much to do. She put away the fine robe she got at Val Royeaux in her trunk. A frivolous purchase, one she would probably not be able to use any time soon, but she hoped. She was sitting on a chair tackling on the serious undertaking of de-tangling and brushing her hair when the maid barged in, as she often did.

"My Lady Herald, you requested my presence." The woman bowed low.

"What is your name?"

"Pardon, my Lady Herald?" The elf looked up, confusion marking her features.

"You have taken care of me and my things for months and I still haven't learned your name, to thank you. I truly appreciate what you have been doing for me."

The elf now looked at her completely dumbstruck. The Herald of Andraste wanted to know her name, she was pleased with her. Tears slowly build in the corner of her eyes. She looked down again and tried to hide a sniffle. "My name is Neessa, my Lady Herald."

Sena got up and walked towards the maid. She picked up a locket on the table. It was a fine silver locket and inside it was a small picture of a field of green trees occupying its both sides, the detail in it was beautiful. "I saw this in a shop in Val Royeaux and thought of you. If I had known your name at the time I would have asked the jeweler to engrave it. I'm sorry it is missing it." Sena, gently took Neessa's hand and placed the delicate locket in it and closed her fingers around it.

Neessa turned the gift around but couldn't read what was written on it. She didn't know how to. Her heart flooded with pride that her work was recognised by the Herald herself. "My Lady Herald, this is too much. I cannot…"

"Yes, you can. Here it says, 'From Sena, Thank you for your care'." She pointed at the lettering. "So, thank you, Neessa, for taking such good care of me. For making sure I'm always warm and fed. That my clothes are clean and my bed so wonderfully ready when I arrive tired from a long trip."

Neessa stood proud. "It is I who thanks you, my Lady Herald, I will never fail you." and she left, head held high.

Sena resumed her battle with her hair, the mass of curls when combed almost reached her bottom. Meanwhile, the discussion with Cullen competed for her attention. draining the last vestiges of her patience. _This is so disappointing. I was a fool to think he might be different._ She let out a bitter laugh. _Just another handsome Templar._

She took a sip of her wine. _This is going to be a long night._

Oooo-oooO

"You there! There's a shield in your hand, block with it! If this man were your enemy, you'd be dead!" Cullen busied himself the whole day training the new recruits who had arrived in the past week. "Lieutenant, don't hold back. The recruits must prepare for a real fight, not a practice one."

"Sir." One of the recruits approached him.

"Yes soldier?"

"Can we finish for today? It is night already and we have been practicing since dawn."

Cullen looked around at his recruits. They were still bravely training and sparring, but only now he noticed the heavy set of their shoulders. He had pushed them too hard today. "I agree. Everybody, you did good work today. Tomorrow we can all rest and we'll reconvene on the next day.

"Thank you, Commander."

Cullen stood there, watching his men and women put away their equipment and leave the training grounds. One last glance towards the blacksmith, and relief washed over him. The Herald on her black stallion appeared on the curb.

They had left for Redcliffe weeks ago to parlay with the mages. The moment she saw him, her face closed down and her eyes sharpened. He knew why she did that. His words still weighed on his conscience. She had kept to herself afterwards and he didn't have the courage to go talk to her, even when she went to the crossroads to practice. _Even when we started to hear reports from Templars who had managed to escape with the Inquisition help from the sic clutches of the Order._ The reports they received were disturbing. _She was right, going there would have been suicide._

The group slowly marched to the stables. Cullen could see she had recruited one more volunteer to the cause.

Sena made quick work of settling her stallion, Diesel, and, with Cassandra, approached Cullen with the latest news. His eyes bulged when the words Tevinter Magister came from their lips. "Tomorrow we'll have to convene and organise an offence."

"Time magic? Maker's breath."

"The situation in Redcliffe is dire." Cassandra pointed.

The new Inquisition ally approached them."Where can I rest my gear, my Lady Herald?"

Cullen looked at the unkempt bearded man behind them. His well spoken voice betrayed his rough looks.

"And you are?"

"Blackwall. I assume you are Commander Cullen. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Commander, this is Warden Blackwall, he has joined our cause." Sena coldly filled in the information void.

"Pleased to meet you. I believe Master Harrit has a vacancy at his place. Over there, by the forge." Cullen pointed out.

"Ah, thank you, Commander." Blackwall turned to the Herald and took her hand. "My Lady Herald." He bowed deeply on her gloved hand. "I'll take my leave."

"Where did you find him?"

"At the outskirts of Redcliffe. He was helping the locals. He seems to be a good man." Sena answered without looking at Cullen, her eyes intent on the Grey Warden's back.

"Leliana asked us to find him, to help us figure out what happened to them, why they disappeared." Cassandra added.

Cullen looked at the Herald and back at the Warden. She still hadn't actually looked at him since her arrival. He felt his gut sink.

Oooo-oooO


	6. Chapter 04

"Maker, look at it. So much easier to ignore when it's far away, and to actually walk out of it, to be that close..."

"It was very... Green... I can take you there if you like, we can take some snacks and make it a day of hiking and killing demons, what do you think? " Sena looked at Blackwall and laughed.

"Oh, my Lady, I believe it would be too much excitement for me." The Grey Warden leaned on the stone pillar near the forge.

"You are oddly charming for a man I found wandering in the forest"

"I've always thought myself more odd than charming. But I'll take the compliment from the Lady. They are hard to come by these days. " Blackwall's eyes narrowed in laughter and Sena joined him. Blackwall was a fine addition to the inquisition ranks. He made her feel safe.

"So, you need something large and heavy you need moved?"

Sena was taken by surprise with such an open flirt. But she had no problems with it, she had started it, in a way. "No, Blackwall, talking with you is good enough. Although, that would be a waste of your talents, I believe you would be better suited standing between a dragon and I. A personal shield of sorts."

"I'll take that, Harold. I have to admit, I thought you'd be…"

"Not a mage?"

"I mean no offense, my Lady. It's just that we get used with mages only in Circles. Enough to forget they should have the same right to move around as any other person. I must say, it's refreshing. It's what you do and how you do it. That's important."

"No offense taken. "

"I have to say my Lady, you're unlike any woman I've ever met. Although, just one question. How do you think you fit in with all of this?"

"Some worship me, and I like it." She spoke with a deadpan face. Then, at the disgusted and questioning look he Blackwall gave her, she couldn't hold her laughter anymore. "It is a bit unnerving to be honest. I just want to stop the war, try to put things back in order. Find a better place for mages that isn't a prison or the madness of Tevinter."

"A worthy goal. For me, I'll be satisfied so long as we find the bastards that killed the Divine. They owe us some answers."

"I like you, Blackwall. No subterfuge, no second intentions. Just good morals. You are a decent man."

"I don't know what to say, Herrald."

"No need to say anything." She smiled. "Keep your sword sharp. Next time we travel, I want you with us."

"My sword is yours, my Lady." He offered his hand and she replied with hers. He touched his forehead to her hand and gave her an interested look.

Sena blinked back at the man. _It has been so long_. She smiled, gave him a nod and walked away.

From afar, Cullen watched their exchange. To see her openly laugh made him wonder how she really was when no one else was around. If he could ever elicit such a laugh from her. He was told she had an odd sense of humor. Even saw a glimpse of it the day he had helped her train. The warden watched her with hungry eyes and she seemed oblivious to it. In the recess of his mind he knew, he would never have her attention as the warden had it at that moment.

Oooo-oooO

In and out of meetings, the Herald had to leave again, now with Krem, Blackwall, Cassandra, Sera and Solas, to the Storm Coast and recruit the Bull Chargers. The thought that she had taken the warden with her, kept coming back to him. They were to storm Castle Redcliffe and they would need all help they would possibly get.

"What's with the worried face Curly?"

"This is the only face I have, Varric." Cullen look back at the flagon of mead in his hands. His heart was still heavy over the fallout he had with the Herald all those weeks ago, his head on the other hand, was brewing another major headache.

"Cyril told me it was a mistake. He didn't mean to drop all those papers in the brazier."

The Singing Maiden was full that evening. Soldiers sat haphazardly on the benches at different levels of inebriation, celebrating the end of a seven day training marathon. Cullen sat on a reserved table at the corner of the tavern.

"Hmmm?" Cullen gave him a questioning look.

"He is just a kid finding his way amidst this war, give him a break."

"The reports he destroyed forced us to bring two agents needlessly back to camp."

"I know. But believe in the kid. He admires you too much to function correctly when you are around."

"I gave him a reprimand. The subject is done. I'm not one for continuous torture."

"The soldiers here might think otherwise…." Varric looked at the Commander and saw the man almost falling asleep. He had held the same flagon since he had entered the tavern at sunset. It was now almost time to rest for the day and only two or three sips were missing from the cup.

Cullen kept quiet. The dull ache in his head had spread to all his senses. He closed his eyes and lowered his head to try to push it all away but he was failing miserably.

"C'mon, Curly. I think you partied enough for today." Varric stood up and gently woke Cullen up.

"I suppose you are right." He stood up. "Good night Varric."

Oooo-oooO

The Bull Chargers looked nothing like professional mercenaries. And that was precisely why Cullen felt confident in their capabilities. A ragtag of unassuming odd people, they could hold up the whole place and no one would see them striking.

At the war room, Sena had requested Iron Bull to participate in the meeting where they would be planning the incursion to Redcliffe Castle. The man had great insight on siege techniques.

"We don't have the manpower to take the castle! Either we find another way in or give up this nonsense and go get the templars!" Cullen exclamated.

"Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister. This cannot be allowed to stand." Cassandra pressed.

"Commander, there is a powerful vint at your doorstep and he is about to command a legion of mages. Letting them be is not wise." Bull's reasonable voice permeated the space.

"Tell us, Commander, what outcome do you expect if we do not rescue the mages?" Sena's voice was sharp. Her patience with the commander draining by the minute.

"That is not what I meant. I do want to help the mages, but we don't have the numbers."

"The letter from Alexius asked for you by name, it's an obvious trap." Josephine pointed.

"Oh! How nice of him. Should I bring flowers?"

"Ugh… Herald…" Cassandra gave an exasperated breath, but couldn't keep the small smile pulling at the corner of her lip.

"You want to bring him gifts while others want to sit back and do nothing." Leliana pricked Cullen.

"Redcliffe castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled thousands of assaults. We would be sending our men to their deaths. If you go in there you'll die, and we'll lose the only means we have of closing these rifts. I won't allow it."

"And if we don't take the vint down, you'll be left with a mage army in a very comfortable attack position to wreak chaos across Ferelden. But don't mind me. I'm just here for the fights."

"We can't march an Orlesian Inquisition army through Ferelden and not expect a war. Our hands are tied." Josephine tried to appease the rising tempers.

"The magister..."

"Has outplayed us." Cullen let out a resigned sigh.

"No. There must be another way! Alexius son, Felix, told me he is in a cult obsessed with me. Do you really think they let us be if I don't go there?"

"We cannot accept defeat now."Cassandra looked alarmed.

"We need another way inside. Maybe the sewers? A water course?" Sena asked the group.

"Wait, there is... a secret passage into the castle that leads to its dungeons. In my time with the Hero of Ferelden, we used it to reach the Arl, who was trapped by demons summoned by his son."

Cullen felt the elusive gears he always felt around the spymaster locking into place, he looked at Leliana. Echoes of his past slowly washed in memories he never fully managed to forget. Probably will never be capable to. _She was there with her… Does she remember that? Me? Saying those horrible things to her? Asking to…_ Cullen locked his jaw and steeled himself.

"It's too risky, Red. If it is too narrow for the troupes, the Herald would be left without backup."

"That is why we need a distraction. Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly?" Leliana suggested.

"It's risky, but it could work."

"Fortunately you'll have help. Your spies will never get past alexius magic without my help. So if you are going after him, I'm coming along." A man entered the room.

"Dorian! I thought you stayed back, in Redcliffe." Sena smiled at the him.

"I'm sorry for the delay my dear, but now I am all yours."

The room went silent. Sena hugged the mysterious man in welcome. Leliana's eagle eyes were already scrutinizing every detail she could catch. Cullen casually rested his hand on his sword pommel and so did Cassandra. Bull watched from the background, allowing the scene to unfold. Josephine was the first to break the silence. "Greetings, Dorian."

"Hello, Inquisition. I believe we have an incursion to prepare." He gave the crowd a grand bow.

"The plan puts you in the most danger. We can't, in good conscience, order you to do this." Cullen worried. "We could still go after the Templars…"

"We ARE going after the mages, commander."

Oooo-oooO

Outside the Chantry, Cassandra was walking beside Sena, their friendly presence had a peaceful silence between them. They looked up the skies and they were cloudy, promising another pour of snow that night. Fastening her cloak about her, Sena made her way to her hut. After a whole day of discussions in the war room, she had preparations to arrange for the trip tomorrow.

"I have one last thing I need to discuss with you in private, Herald. Do you mind my paying you a visit in a short while?"

Sena turned around. "Sure Cass, I'll leave the door unlocked. I'll still be awake." and she walked away.

Cullen approached Cassandra and they watched Sena make her way to her hut. "When are you going to apologise to her, Cullen?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"During the whole time we were in Redcliffe, the Herald kept coming back on the fact that she couldn't trust you, trust us. She feared for her fellow mages. I believe a part in this fear came from your words, Commander."

"I imagined this might have happened. I wanted to apologise, but the moment never came."

"Well, your moment is now. She is awake and you have something to say. Fix this, Cullen. I know you are better than this." She pierced him with a pointed stare.

Oooo-oooO

Everything in place. Her bag of holding organized with everything she could possibly need for this visit. Sena then entered the bathtub Neessa had prepared for her, and it was magic on her tense muscles. Her back and shoulders were completely stiff. _This is the last bath I'll have for the next two weeks!_

She knew Cassandra was still going to show up but she had no problem with allowing the warrior see her in this intimate moment. In their travels, they bathed at the same place too many times to count. The candles cast a soft relaxing light in the room, the fireplace kept the place comfortably warm. Sena was almost asleep in the water when she heard a soft knock on her door.

"Enter, it's open, Cass."

Cullen had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he knew he had to tell her something. He had taken off his armor, made himself presentable and left all his weapons and shield in his quarters. _I want her trust, I want to be worthy of her._ His brow furrowed. His eagerness dissonant with how he thought he should feel. It left him confused.

He heard her muffled answer and entered the hut. The place was dimly lit and comfortably warm, so much different from his damp quarters in the Chantry. He felt an aura of peace in the small space that called to all his senses to lay back and unburden himself. Walking a few more paces, he crossed the shelves which divided the room, believing he would find the inquisitor at her desk, catching up on reports. When he came up to it and didn't find her there, he turned around.

"Yes, Cass?" Sena asked, her back to the person who entered.

Cullen was presented with the Herald in her bathtub. He closed his eyes and faced back the window behind him but the little he saw of her form was now branded in his memory."Maker! I am so sorry, Herald."

Sena's intake of air raised contradicted the shivers on her skin. Confused with her body's reaction, she turned around, splashing water on the floor. "Commander? What are you doing here?" Her voice was sharp and pointed.

"I… I… Maker.. I should go. My apologies... I can speak with you tomorrow." Cullen made the move to walk away but ended up bumping into her raven cage.

"Do not dare leaving without telling me why you are here at this time of the evening." Sena looked at the Commander's back. He was rubbing his neck, trying but failing to turn around.

"Herald, I am deeply sorry to have barged in on you like this. Cassandra suggested I come in her place. I knocked and I thought I heard you telling me to come in."

"I did ask _Cassandra_ , to come in. I thought you were her." Sena looked at the man's back. He was wearing a simple heavy coat with trousers and boots, She had never seen the man without his armor before. Apart from her odd dream months ago. A dream which sometimes came back to her and showed her how lonely she actually felt.

At first, one could say he looked defenseless like that, but his bulk promised he was far from it. He was rubbing his neck and she could see that the tip of his ears were flaming red. "Stay where you are, you came to talk, so you will talk. Just give me a moment." Her voice held a different note. Huskier, less irritated.

Cullen heard water softly splashing. He closed his eyes but his mind dutifully filled in all the gaps. She was getting out of the bathtub, probably rinsing her hair one last time. Her feet softly padded around him. On his left, he saw her arm reach for her terry cloth towel beside him and the image of her drying her naked body materialized behind his lids. The vision of his dream was mending with his own imagination… with the curve of her shoulders and swell of the top of her breasts. He was confused. Suddenly, the smell of vervain and lavender flooded the air and all he wanted to do was...

"Turn around, Commander." She commanded.

He turned around and found her dressed in a long plush red velvet robe. Its edges trimmed in gold and silver around the vee of her cleavage and sleeves. His eyes didn't linger, he kept as cool as his training had taught him and looked her in her eyes. His mouth, dry.

"Yes? You have my full attention." She waved for him to sit on the chair close to him, while she sat on her bed, combing her hair.

"I… I owe you an apology. It was not my intent to imply fault on the mages for their abuse. The Templars have been gradually losing sight of the values and virtues of the order for years now, and we live in a time when that has brought us all to this tipping point."

Sena regarded him closely. His stance was open. His ears and cheeks still held a faint flush, but his eyes held hers in complete honesty. She tested him. "What we say in a moment of passion, is often our truest words, Commander. How can I believe your apology is sincere?"

Cullen found himself seeing her for the first time. He had been right. She had a barrier on all the time. It distorted how he… how people perceived her. On a regular day, she would look stumpy and clumsy. You wouldn't be able to find this glow on her skin, even her voice sounded different. Flatter. Right now, she was the woman of his dream. "It is. On my honor." Cullen straightened up and kept eye contact with her, a deep part of him was shamelessly marveling in what his eyes could capture. "Please don't take me as my misguided Templar brothers."

Hair completely brushed now, it settled in ringlets around her face and body. "Why do you care?" She asked tentatively. "Why do you care about what I think about you?"

Cullen looked away. Why did he cared? Why did he come here so late in the evening to apologise? "I… You are the Herald and I disrespected you. I do not profess those values any longer."

Deep inside her, a spark of knowledge hinted that there was something more to it. "I accept your apology."

She stood up to her full height, only now realising he could really see her, she forgot to erect her barrier. She looked him in the eyes and saw cool respect in them.

She gave him her hand for a handshake, but when he took it, he leaned to it, and pressed his lips on her bare knuckles. "Thank you my Lady Herald."

She inclined her head in acknowledgement and he left. His goodbye was polite and ingenuous, but it started slow burn on her chest. She looked at the hand he had just kissed and the soft presence of his lips lingered. Setting it aside, she went to bed and willed herself a dreamless sleep, if possible. The coming week will be trying.

Stepping outside, Cullen couldn't believe what he had just done. He wanted to apologise, that was all. But he couldn't hold back the urge of doing the same as he saw Blackwall do. His lips still bore the taste of her skin, and his heart thundered on his chest. He felt relieved, elated, lightheaded, bothered. _This cannot be. I'm not whole anymore._ He went back to his quarters. They were going to attempt to close the Breach in the coming week. _The last thing I need is one more thing for me to fail._

Oooo-oooO


	7. Chapter 05

There were bodies everywhere. Cullen walked around the castle and dread filled his gut, for whatever creature powerful enough to do this, it was probably lurking around. The red lyrium grew from corpses. Some had faces known to him. Cyril, his assistant, so eager to do a good job. Had taken arms with their last attempt to retake the castle from enemy hands.

He looked up from the courtyard and could see through the mist of mystical energy, another horizon. It had black buildings pointing up to a murky green sky. _The Black City…_ Cullen raised his shield and sword, ready for whatever may come for him. This wasn't one of his regular dreams. He had never been to a place like this and his lyrium abstinence was apparently working hand in hand with his imagination to reproduce the report the Herald made about her escape from the Redcliffe Castle. On the upside, he didn't have his heavy templar armor on him. His current armor was far lighter and more comfortable, and best of all, efficient. He braced himself and continued exploring. _There has to be an end to this nightmare_.

"Why did you come here? Why have you meddled? If it weren't for you, my son would still be alive!"

A man's voice could be heard beyond a set of double doors while muted moans of pain echoed in the distance. Cullen put all his strength to pry open the doors. Inch by inch the stone gave way until he managed to slip between them and into the next chamber.

The place was poorly lit and littered with corpses of demons and humans alike. A flash of red caught his attention and he carefully lifted the hood that covered the body. Were it not for the straight copper red hair which had always brushed her chin, he wouldn't be able to recognize Leliana. Her features were sunken and grey. Few steps beyond her, he saw the Tevinter mage who had volunteered to help them assault the castle. The smell of dead flash suffocated the air around him.

Cullen now looked with new eyes at the corpses and could see Cassandra, Josephine… All members of the inquisition lying haphazardly entwined with demons. They were all dead and mangled. Horror crept threatening to steal his will, when his spine froze in fear. He saw himself in their midst, chest ripped open and insides strewn around him. His dead gaping gaze looked straight at him. _Maker…_

" _Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood the Maker's will is written."_ Cullen whispered to himself, desperate to find strength to survive this nightmare. _This place is just as bad as Kinloch-Hold._

"Herald of Andraste, your Maker was nothing more than a bedtime story, meant to pacify frightened children. You will know the true God of old, Dumat himself trembles at his presence."

Cullen heard the man talking and made way towards the pillars which surrounded the sides of what looked like a throne room.

"Whatever the Maker is or wasn't is pointless. This world is... was ruled by men, and men such as yourself destroyed it out of its gluttony for power. Tell me…" Sena coughed out the blood stuck on her windpipe. With labored breaths she continued. "in all honesty. What is the point of power, when the world itself is barren of life?"

The Magister's dead eyes found hers. "I did not want this to happen, all I wanted was to save my son." The Magister sounded worn. Done. He had no more fight left in him.

Cullen heard the Herald moments before laying eyes on her. She was lifted by the wrists in chains of red lyrium. Her armor was torn and missing pieces. Blood still dripped from some of the gashes in her flash. The Magister she had described in her report stood in front of her shackled form, head low, his features not much different than Leliana's grey and shrivelled skin.

"Was it worth it?" Sena spat.

"If you hadn't come around it would have! My boy… My sweet boy! He was to rise to my place! Take my seat at the Magisterium!" He slapped her.

With soft slow paces muffled by the man's ramblings Cullen approached him from behind, raised his sword and pressed its tip at the back of the Magister's neck. "Release her."

Sena lifted her head and couldn't believe what she was seeing. She saw him die! "Cullen?"

"NO." Alexius straightened his back. "She will have the same fate as my son."

"I will not ask again, release her and I'll give you a swift death."

"Do…. do you promise that?" He turned around, Cullen's sword now rested on his adam's apple.

Sena looked at him with confused eyes. To Cullen, the man in front of him was hopeless. The dead son, he deduced, was the young man fallen on the floor, dressed in yellow, in the same ways as the father. His throat was sliced open, black blood pooled around him.

"I will only let her go, if you promise to end my suffering."

Cullen circled around the man and stood in at the side of the Herald. With one arm around her waist, he took her weight. "Do it."

The Magister touched each cuf with his fingers and they opened. Sena fell on Cullen, head on his shoulder, her body limp.

The Magister stepped back. "Please."

Sena had her eyes closed, her cheek softly cushioned by his fur pauldron. The sound of the magister's head softly thumping on the floor made her sickly satisfied. She feebly tried to hold on to Cullen's neck, but Alexius had spent hours torturing her. Her blood adorned the floors around them.

"My Lady Herald." Cullen sat on the sumptuous throne near them and settled her body on his lap. She felt small, diminished, empty. He supported her head with his upper arm and she looked up at him. His heart swelled for her.

"You're here... How? I saw you die."

"I will always protect you, My Lady." Cullen looked at her and kept wondering how this could be.

"Commander, call me Sena, please." She attempted a small laugh.

"Can you heal yourself?" Her eyes were closing, Cullen caressed her cheek to wake her up. "Sena, I will take you home, you will get better."

"S…. s…. too late for that. I have failed. The world is lost and it is my fault. I wasn't good enough." A tear escaped her eye.

"No, this didn't happen, you came back before the Elder One managed to destroy Thedas, we are still fighting him, we are winning." His chest constricted, a vacuum was forming inside him, it was consuming all of him. Looking into her eyes he saw her silent tears. He was losing her, and a part of him felt like it was going away with her.

"No, we aren't. Everybody is dead. Soon, I will too..."

"Sena, please, believe me! You live."

"Cullen..." Her voice broke. "I don't want to die..." Her breaths became labored.

"No, Sena, please no. Maker, please, don't take her away from me."

"I wanted... more." It took all her strength to raise her hand and caress his face, her eyes locked on his and her thumb softly caressed the scar on his lip. "I wanted..."

"No! I... Please don't leave..." Tears swam in his eyes, unimpeded.

Her hand fell from his face and her body went limp. Cullen hugged her and cried unafraid. She was, is important to him. His mind's eye spun all the memories of all his failures. Like a series of pictures in motion, he saw his neglect and hatred destroying lives. His request to purge the Kinloch Hold Circle. There were still innocent mages there and he didn't care, he had been broken was blinded by fear.

Oooo-oooO

The incursion in Redcliffe was a success in many levels. They managed to secure the mages, conscripting them under the Inquisition flag. A three weeks had gone by and the images of her nightmare, still kept coming back to her. The Magister had stabbed and beaten her for unending hours. When her unconscious mind finally had produced Cullen, out of nowhere, she had been near death. Those last moments with him also stayed with her, helping to chase away the bad memories. She had an idea why the Commander appeared in her dreams every now and then. _I like him, and I'm an idiot for feeling like that. Would anything between us ever work?_

Sena was coming out of the chantry, her mind lost in thought when Grand Enchanter Fiona came to her. The female's demeanor worried but still proud.

"Herald, are we really to be the Inquisition's prisoners?"

Sena redoubled her efforts to pay attention to her conversation with the Grand Enchanter. Images of her dream from weeks ago still kept coming back to her. After that sShe had already gone to the Fallow Mire to rescue the missing scouts, closed all the rifts in the Hinterlands and the Storm Coast. "Up to a point Fiona, yes. Mages have to take responsibility for their actions and the rebel movement has a lot to answer to. Reparations have to be made." She rubbed her brow.

"I understand, Herald, but surely…"

"A new age is coming to us, Fiona. Do you want us to be treated as spoiled tyrants? In time we will find middle ground. And mages need to be ready to take in the responsibility of steering their own lives in an honest way. There is a slippery slope between freedom and the Tevintean ways. First of all, we will repent, and we will work, and we will educate."

"You really see us free one day?"

"To a point, yes. I see the most honest and honourable of us being able to have full lives, owning property and being respected members of Thedas. But we need to understand that magic can't be used in selfish ways."

"If this is your intent, then let me be part of it. I will work at your side."

"Thank you, Fiona." Sena shook her hand. "Now, if you excuse me."

The mages were settling in as well as any other inexperienced person would be. Noisily and awkwardly. One could say not one of them even knew how to raise a tent or cook anything other than potion ingredients. Sena passed by Cassandra and one of the mages, the young man looked like his harrowing was just yesterday.

After sending the spoiled brat on his way and talking with Cassandra, she knew she would never get a moment of peace if she remained in the city.

Oooo-oooO

The men in the courtyard were slowly making him proud of their efforts. Months of training and they had grown into fine warriors. With the experience in leading men he had gathered in Kirkwall, he kept a keen eye on their response to what was going around them. Cullen worried the dissent against mages that he saw among his Templar brothers would worm its way to the Inquisition ranks.

Leaving them to have their midday break, Cullen took off to the dock near the druffalo pasture. The lyrium abstinence was weighing heavy on him today and a moment to collect his thoughts would be extremely welcome. Not that he would be left feeling particularly better with nothing to focus on.

The nightmare he had almost a full month ago still came back to him, especially inat the moments when his mind was idle. In those twilight moments before falling asleep. Some nights he managed to save her, bring her back from that hell world, others she died over and over again, no matter what he did. But one night, the night he remembers the most, she had given him a kiss after she had healed herself. His imagination had been inspired that day. Her soft lips on his had made it even more difficult to fall asleep.

His reaction in her dream still confounded him. Maybe because he never managed to lie to himself when dreaming or having nightmares, he felt her loss crashing deep inside her. He never imagined he liked her that much. The imagined perspective of not having her in his life anymore made his mood sour. He knew very well what that meant. And he also knew he was selfish to think that inviting her care for him would result in her happiness. He would care for her in return, but she would never have him completely. He was hollow inside, his work the only thing which distracted him from that.

He reached the pasture and made way to the dock, on the way there were some rocks he walked by. Walking around one big boulder, he found the Herald sitting down on the snow. She was cloaked, as usual. The deep red-brown heavy cloak faced the sun behind her, casting her features in shadow. Underneath it, she was probably wearing her bulky garment. _Is she always this cold?_ A ram lay on its side, neck stretched as an offering to her loving hands to caress.

Startled, the ram stood up and ran away from him. "You know… I have always wanted a dog." Still looking at the horizon in front of her , hHer hand fell back to her lap.

Cullen removed his sword sheath and sat next to her. The covered blade sat in front of them, next to her staff. His attention now completely focused on her.

"You are Fereldan, aren't you? Can I assume you have had a dog at some point?" She now looked at him, the earnest question backed by the absence of her barrier.

"No. Never. My father never had use for one." Cullen now could see her face. He allowed himself a moment to take in her visage unencumbered by her barrier. He almost never saw her true self. Only the day he had apologised and… in his dreams.

"Ah. I hope, one day. I had to give up mine when I went to the circle. She was a mutt. Large as a mabari and furry like a wolf." Sena kept her eyes in the horizon. "She was a sweet goof."

"I didn't know Marchers had an appreciation for dogs."

"They don't." She smiled.

"I never had the chance. Not much space for a dog during training. Or at a Circle."

"I know. Can you imagine? The poor dog not being able to go outside to relief herself? Leaving little presents on Templars' helms?" She laughed.

"Or in the Grand Enchanter linens. Your dog would have been in big trouble." Cullen laughed with her.

They chatted little nothings for some timesat quietly, while watching the winter birds crosseding the sky. Quips and stories from when they were younger and were strangely comfortable in each other's company. No one felt the need to smother the peaceful silence. His headache throbbed in the background of his mind, but he paid it no heed. The Breach was in front of them, looming in the sky, and as it usually did, it pulsed a wave of power. It washed over them. Her hand glowed.

"Does it hurt?" He pointed.

"No. It is just there, like an extra glove on my hand." She gave him her hand.

He held her open hand, palm up facing him. The glow was faint, there was no warmth to it beyond what came from her soft pale skin. Absentmindedly, Cullen brushed his gloved fingers on the mark and Sena held in a shiver. "There is an imprint here. Waves" He trailed the lines scarring her hand. An innocent caress.

Cullen inwardly cursed himself. He couldn't help it. Next to her his dictatorial control over himself softened. His own barriers melted away and he took all that she could give him. And he gave as much as he could back. But still, his lyrium abstinence screamed inside him, throwing temper tantrums of nausea, hot and cold flashes, migraines of epic proportions. He repeated to himself. _I am broken, I'm sorry._

Her eyes were arrested by him. His profile gracefully angled down, his brow furrowed in thought. His lips were relaxed, there was no tension in him. Sena felt a tug inside her, something was blooming. _Are you worthy? Frack me, I am attracted to you, commander. Please, be worthy._ The memory of his lips on her knuckles all those nights ago, came to her.

"I know." She answered. "It probably happened while I was in the fade. Whoever did this must have taken my hand and branded me somehow." Her voice was slightly breathless.

"Whatever is the reason you have this, it came to us in the darkest of times." He closed her hand and gave it back to her. "I'm grateful for it." He turned and looked into her eyes. Her serene stance echoed inside him. He felt warm and almost complete, and crumbled inside.

"I must have this mark for a reason. It will work, I'm sure of it."

"Provided we can secure aid, but I'm confident we can. The Chantry lost control of the Templars and the mages. Now they argue over a new Divine while the breach remains. The Inquisition could act when the Chantry could not. Our followers would be part of that! There's so much we could…" Cullen shook his head. "Forgive me, I doubt you are up for a lecture."

"No, but if you have one prepared, I'd love to hear it."

He laughed. "Another time perhaps" Sena gave him a smile so intent that Cullen suddenly felt a little flustered. "I uh…" He clears his throat. "This a great place to unwind. You come here often?"

"Sometimes. Do you?"

"Sometimes. Usually, I sit at the frozen dock. I like the open space wide around me." He pointed.

"Me too. Too many years cloistered up in a tower. My only reprieve were the summers I spent home."

"You were allowed to leave the Ostwick Circle?"

"Yes. My family has strong ties with the Chantry. My father managed to get a dispensation for the summer months. I was free for 4 months each year."

"And the Knight Commander, the Grand Enchanter, they were Ok with it?"

"No and Yes." She couldn't hide her distaste with the memories coming back to her.

"It is hard… to find balance." He watched her, he wanted to know more, but dared not press. This was the first real talk they had since it all began.

"It is."

He wanted to stay, spend more time with her. "I… ah.. I believe I must go. The recruits will be back from their break soon. Thank you for your company, My Lady Herald." As he began to say his goodbye, he was looking forward to kissing her hand again. To feel her skin on his lips. _Please, Maker, let her give me her hand in farewell._

Sena stood up. "Thank you, Commander." She gave him her hand for a handshake but, with a hidden smile on his face, he turned it instead, and brushed his lips on her bare knuckles… allowing himself to linger long enough to feel the warmth of her skin on his.

Sena watched the man turn her hand and touch his lips on her knuckles. His warm breath caressed the valley between her fingers, eliciting a slow burn inside her. His lips were soft and the kiss was slow, almost reverent. Deep inside, part of her wanted, hoped he would do that.

Cullen raised his eyes back to hers and he saw a fierce burn in them. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips rosier than ever. He knew he was being selfish, that he shouldn't do this. But the peace she made him feel, the warmth she elicited in his heart was addicting. It made him happy.

Sena slowly placed her hand on his cheek, her eyes probably communicating all her thoughts. She wanted him but she was also confused. This felt sudden, but not. There were moments, a look during meetings, when arriving in Haven. She always took some time to put away her horse so she could watch him from afar. And most of all, when he made that regretful comment, she was angry at him for weeks. She cared about what he thought and when he finally apologized, she felt as if a path with endless possibilities had opened before her. She caressed his stubbled cheek, the tip of her index and middle finger slightly grazing the velvety tip of his ear. She felt him shiver and his honey eyes locked on hers for a short moment. Passion burned in them. Then he looked away. He took her hand in his and removed it from his face, giving it one gentle squeeze.

Cullen was overwhelmed by her reaction. His heart came alive and his insides blossomed in warmth and slight chills. She was reciprocating his attention in kind and his head swam in delight. Desire took hold inside him and for a moment, he wanted to kiss her lips and give her a taste of his passion. He wanted to taste her desire. But he knew he couldn't, he had broken a part of himself a long time ago and the time spent hating in Kirkwall only festered in the absence of his compassion, of his humanity. He wasn't worthy of her. He locked himself down, but Sena made a point to keep her stance as it was. Open and welcoming, and his heart screamed at him for being denied.

Her voice was still calm and sweet. "Goodbye, commander. Until next time."

Cullen gave her one last look. _I'm broken, my Lady, I am sorry._ "Goodbye, Herald." Before walking away.

Oooo-oooO


End file.
